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Erik The Half a Bee

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I am a part time nerd, part time chef and full time whiner. Did I type whiner? I meant winner...no wait, I whine a lot. I've worked in High Tech and Television and a few places in between. I've eaten fire roasted snakes and hand fulls of peeps (not in the same sitting of course). I'd like to share my experiences, so read on.

Lose a career in 40 days.

Hi, I'm Tom Cruise. I can turn chicks cRaZy! It's fun. I took a normal looking girl (and by normal, I mean only is attractive after 4 hours of putting on 500$ worth of MAC, come on you know it's true....) and turned her CrAzY too! How else would a 20 year old want to have a kid with a 40 year old after a few months of dating. Ha! First off, my sister was my PR manager and she told me to pimp my family values and date katie holmes and have a kid, and look how that ended up! I fired her for a professional.

So I was in this movie called MI:III, funny thing about this movie. It's a spy/fbi/cia movie with cool gadgets and explosions just like the last one.

But what is this? It has weird moral undertones? Could it be that since I love scientology, I forced the director to focus the film on these things:

  1. stereotypical Family Values
  2. pharmaceuticals are bad
  3. technology Will End us

Check my movie, it's cool. You'll forget all about the cool spy stuff and guns and what not. All you'll think about is how BAD not having a solid family is. You'll worry about how science will create drugs that will kill us all and how technology will somehow end us all.

And of course, you will realize YOU MUST GET MARRIED NOW!!!!!!!!

GET MARRIED!!!!!

HAVE A MAN AND WOMAN FAMILY WITH CHILDREN!!!!

EXPLOSIONS ARE FOR CHUMPS!!#@$@#$

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